Last night I spilled some sweet and sour sauce on the floor while having some lumpia. I thought I had cleaned most of it up before I returned to eating, but I had not. I stepped on a biggish dot of it in my sock and stamped it all over my house. I didn’t notice it until the next morning.
I was annoyed and while cleaning up the tracks I wondered if the irritation actually outweighed the level of satisfaction of this particular dinner. It did. “Was the juice worth the squeeze?,” is a question/saying that comes to mind. It was not.
They say that negative feelings are at least 5 times stronger than the positive feelings. Like if you found a $100 dollar bill, you would be psyched for sure but if you lost it later that day, the pain of that loss will be felt 5 more times than when finding it.
This is kind of proof that we are motivated by “avoiding pain” more than “seeking pleasure”.
Could it work in reverse? Do we feel a feeling 5x more after someone disses us versus gives us a compliment? We do.
Does this mean it’s 5x harder to be nice? No, but you could say it takes 5 acts of kindness to have the equal impact of 1 mean diss, so yes?
Sometimes foundations doors walls windows plumbing electrical gets rocked for whatever reason. Naturally, you then replace or repair. I don’t know if it’s from becoming older or if it’s because of the pandemic/politics, but some folks these days are extra fortified in their positions. And more walls mean more division.
Karens begetting more Karens or reverse-Karening. Sorry Karen, I did have a crush on you in highschool. I’m not saying to not have beliefs or boundaries or non negotiables or red flags, but consider the costs on some of them. Consider your “education” and recruitment strategy. Is your world getting bigger or smaller?
I am saying we are participating in the co-creation of reality whether we know it or not. And like everything else in nature, we are either growing or shrinking.
“It’s better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” – Unknown
We’re changing, individually and as a group. Light it, don’t hide it.
Do you feel hurried lately? I do too. Like scrambly like hyper. I had a bunch of ideas of what to do once the world opened back up post pandemic and now that it’s half opened up those ideas dried up or are drying up.
The vibe is all vibes. No more to-do lists, just vibes.
Have patience during installation of new operating system.
“Patience is not passive, on the contrary it is concentrated strength.” – Bruce Lee
Sometimes I catch myself noticing all entries and all exits when I enter a bar or restaurant. I don’t know why. Some mobster movie I remember as a kid, some character saying he always has to face the door when sitting down for food.
In the restaurant of life, are we aware of all possible entries and all possible exits and our current position in relation to these entries and exits?
I think about this when I have already started a project and am not feeling it, like maybe I entered the project too late or too early or came in the side door instead of the front door and I don’t really know how to get out unless I jump out the second floor window. Or not. Just saying.
You ever notice when you are doing awesome everyone wants to participate and party, and then when you are sucking at life no one is around and actually seems like they might be avoiding you?
One concept about it is when they say, “People are your mirror.” I think maybe it’s more specific like people or your entire reality actually is a mirror of your current feelings, both conscious and subconscious.
Sure there are the haters trying to bring you down when your up and vice versa, the comforters trying to bring you up when your down but the theory works there too. Those people could be a particular part of the reflection of your self doubt when you are up or your optimism when you are down.
Those are the easy examples but there are tougher to decipher feelings like confusion or overwhelm or eagerness or accomplishment etc.
This is the idea that the universe is working for you. You experience these reflections or you are shown something to experience the contrast or spectrum of choice and then adjust accordingly.
But, this is reactive. We are reacting to the reflection. We wanna be proactive, we wanna create the reflection.
In summary, your feelings are your reality. I am proposing that it’s worth the time to excavate and sort them out. Easier said then done, I know.
I had dinner with a friend tonight and we were talking about if we will ever know the truth about everything in our lifetime for instance UFOs, Atlantis, Bigfoot, etc. But then we thought maybe we are not supposed to know everything. Like how important to life is curiosity, imagination, mystery, wonder, bewilderment, etc. Reminded me of Rumi..
“Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.” – Rumi
For the past decade or so for me it’s been all about the quest for chill or the quest for more chill or the quest for the most chill. In business and in everything: Is this even chill? How can I make it more chill? What does the most chill version of whatever I am looking at look like?
But you then realize chillness is finite. Especially in relationships you notice that people are either adding to or taking away from your chill. So, you start avoiding non-chill people. But that’s not chill. That’s the paradox.
The evolution or next level of chill is “peace”. Peace is deep and vast and infinite. Because it is infinite you can give it freely, share it, swim in it, etc. There is no worry of any person place or thing interrupting it.
A person with no chill will not understand your chill. A person with no peace will not only understand your peace, they will also be inspired by and will receive any peace you have to offer.
Let us seek peace.
Sometimes we might be expecting too much from others. I am not saying to lower our standards, but I am saying that we are each responsible for our own happiness.
A friend reminded me of this quote today..
“I can do nothing for you but work on myself, you can do nothing for me but work on yourself! ” – Ram Dass
Sometimes there is a call to action, sometimes there is a call to rest. It’s been a busy post pandemic transition summer. I say we rest this week. And next week too. Enjoy the rest, enjoy the weather. Rest and reset.
We’re gonna need it. Can you feel the swelling of a giant wave coming? I can. Sept and Oct are gonna be big. I don’t know how or in which way, but we will need to save up some time and space and energy for then.
“I’m not saying I’m gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world.” – Tupac
This path that we have found ourselves on, this trail that we have unknowingly blazed, happens to be open for others to follow or add on to or just to be sparked by. Sparked to find their own path and do the same for more.
Realize that just being yourself and on your own path is enough to break the matrix.
When we are on a good one, how do we go faster and further and for longer?
When we are on a bad one, how do we wipe-out safely?
Can it be so simple? Yes.
There are infinity waves. Enjoy the rides.
When I moved to San Francisco it happened to be across the street from a Mexican restaurant called, “El Farolito.” Years later I moved down the street like 8 or 10 blocks and guess what, another “El Farolito” across the street.
It wasn’t till way after the fact that I noticed their logo was a lighthouse, “El Farolito” must translate to “the little lighthouse.”
I was thinking today about how each of our thoughts feelings and behaviors ripple out into the world and bounce back eventually like an echo. (I’m in Echo Park right now, see how my brain works.)
We see the reflection when someone catches even the slightest nugget of a thought feeling or behavior from us. Good or bad. Light or dark.
Might as well be light is what I am trying to say. Might as well be the lighthouse. Might as well be in support of others as sooner or later the reflection will bounce back and be in support of you.
You are El Farolito. For better or for worse. Let’s be for the better.