To need something is only to need it. To want something is only to want it. To have something is to actually have it. What will you be having?
I notice I do this and maybe everyone does this. We try to define what we want by listing the things we don’t want.
Imagine being at a deli. What you want is a BLT. When they ask you want you want you say, “Definitely not egg salad or I’ll die.” or, “Turkey? What I am supposed to do with turkey? I fucking quit.” or, “If you put meatballs on there, I will probs just move back in with my parents.”
While we are complaining, we are simultaneously making a sub conscious list of what we don’t want in hopes to sort out what we do want. We cannot hand over a multi page list of what NOT to put on the sandwich and expect that whoever is reading it will figure it out. That is ordering our food backwards, so of course the order gets messed up and of course no onions comes out as extra onions. We end up with more of what we don’t want. That’s when we become reactive instead of proactive.
We need to carefully figure out exactly what we want. Bonus points if it is aligned and purposeful. Then imagine the thoughts feelings and actions that go with it. Next will come ideas and the where when and how. Sooner or later, your order fulfilled. Leave a tip.