Dec 02 2018

HARD COPY

This is a photo of Alex. He came over and bought some frames.

I’m on this thing where I think I should just be writing all the time even if it is not at all interesting to anyone. Just a heads up.

On the first of every month I dump everything on my phone into a folder on one of my hard drives. Also all my neg scans and other digital photos from that month go in there too. I have all these folders labeled by month and year.

I had a slight feeling of panic realizing that I don’t have back up for any of these drives. What if everything got deleted? I have already had it happen twice before. I think I need to make prints of everything. Yeah?

Dec 01 2018

Slow Lane

I drive like a Grandma. I think people who have driven with me kind of trip out on it. Here’s why, I have mostly been driving illegally since I started driving. My Dad would send me on errands since I was 14. I got a driving permit when I was 15 and that seemed good enough for everyone involved.

Eventually got my license at age 28 and didn’t always have insurance or registration on the cars I have owned. This is why I keep it so mellow. I use my turn signals and follow all the rules and try to keep a low profile. Now I am all proper with my paperwork, but my driving habits stayed the same.

I can’t say the same for my health. I have been having problems. Time to act like the health cops are ready to pull me over any minute for fucking up. Eating better, sleeping better, and exercising better. We all should. My body is achy like I just got a seatbelt ticket or some dumb shit.

Nov 27 2018

Frames

Thanks to everyone that bought prints! I have 100s of them and plan to update the store regularly so check back from time to time. I’ll remind you. I’m actually going to leave the discount code running for 24 more hours if you are feeling froggy.

Also if you need frames and live in Los Angeles, I got some for you. I have too many and they’re taking up too much space. These are from past exhibitions and are in mostly perfect shape. I have 100s of them in all sizes and shapes. I have started listing them on Craigslist. Let me know if you want some.

Thanks again!

Nov 24 2018

44

Probably the weirdest thing about being 44 is that it feels like it was just last year when I turned 40. Whole years recent years scrambled up what a trip. I am still feeling the shock, actually more like a stun, of turning 40.

Everyone that makes it on the news seems to either be a child or in their 40s. “Man robs bank, approx 5’10”, mid 40s.” Or on the other end, “Doctor discovers a new cure. PHD from Blah Blah Blah University. 2 kids, 44 years old”.

They say your 40s are your glory years. Is it because this is when you are supposed to do something so notable that you end up on the news? Either in maximum desperation or in genius level expression?

My older friends, multiple friends in different circles told me that I will get a “License To Not Give a Fuck” when I turn 40. I’m like uhhhh, I got mine a while ago. I been not giving a fuck.

But now that I’m a few years into it, I can see they were right. It really is like turning pro for not giving a fuck.

It sounds negative, like saying here’s a free pass to be an asshole or something. No, it’s different. It’s more like being certified to be yourself. I have accepted my criminality and I will attempt to rob this bank regardless if I get caught. Or, I have accepted my genius and will attempt to invent some new science regardless of existing data.

I have friends quitting their jobs and other friends getting pregnant, some are creating, some are destroying, some are chill mode deep, some are hyper attack mode. The difference at this age is it is all 100% guilt free. Wild caught free range organic.

I’m not saying free from responsibility, I think that’s impossible. I’m saying free from influence of others like parents, family, friends, society, and culture. Not because of stubbornness but because of certification of self.

Sure you can have these types of realizations at a younger age but I’m feeling lucky in life because some don’t have it ever. I think that’s the glory.

Nov 22 2018

Gratitude

More than once I have seen Gary V. chopping up a hypothetical situation and say something like, “.. And then that’s where I would deploy gratitude.” He is basically talking about weaponizing gratitude and at the precise strategical moment he will not hesitate to drop a gratitude bomb on your head.

I think it is an interesting way to talk about emotions. I mean we have all witnessed and maybe even executed an f-bomb or anger bomb. And then later, sometimes years later, we assess the damage done to ourselves and everyone within that blast zone radius.

It does sound like an over simplification to deploy an emotion at any time we want. There are scenarios where we just can’t control certain feelings. But when it comes to gratitude, I think it is different. I think we can drop a gratitude water balloon, gratitude grenade, or gratitude nuke whenever and wherever we want. Especially if we woke up that day.

Today is my bday. Feeling grateful. Every once in a while it lands right on top of Thanksgiving. This year it did so I’m feeling extra grateful. Thanks for reading this. Thanks for listening and looking and letting me be me. Love you.

Nov 21 2018

Pressure

I just watched Bohemian Rhapsody. It was awesome. I thought there would be a David Bowie character cameo for their song, “Under Pressure”. There wasn’t. In fact they didn’t use that song at all in the movie.

I been feeling the pressure lately. I think it’s always around the holidays. Like a reassessment of the past year. I think since I have been blogging and vlogging about self improvement that maybe I feel it even more. Shouldn’t I be further along at this point?

But I think that’s the point, questioning who what where and how is the point. You could argue down how much you really need to survive. You could argue against comparing today to your troubled past and potential future. These arguments are the boundaries of our minds. These boundaries are the problems we are supposed to solve.

A quote from Albert Einstein, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

With that being said, what we are looking for is expansion. If we are not growing, we are wilting like all things in nature. I think expansion comes from vulnerability. Withstand the elements, then live another season. Stronger. And fluffier.

Maybe we have to put down our weapons any purposely surrender to force an expansion. Like the plot from Deadpool and other X-Men origin stories, extreme pressure will manifest the X gene.

Another quote. This one from unknown author, “If you wanna make a omelet, you have to break a few eggs.”

Nov 19 2018

Donuts

There was a section of Vice Magazine in the early 2000s where the editors would get random photos of random people and randomly label them as a “Do” or a “Don’t”. The image would then be captioned with a super funny paragraph about how this person was awesome or how this person totally sucks.

We went from morals and manners to irony. I think, we have recently evolved into panic. People are stressed and overwhelmed and self medicating on another level. Running around in circles, full speed, and not getting anywhere.

We are in a new era of Do’s and Don’ts. Systems have failed us and we have to start over. What am I supposed to do? What am I not supposed to do?

I think the sooner we experiment with what we “could” be doing, then the sooner we will find out what we “should” be doing. They say to give something 18 months to deliver results. Maybe you don’t have that kind of time, but I say try it anyways.

What would happen if you don’t?

Nov 16 2018

How To How To

I was going to write a how to article about how to write a how to article. I thought it would be funny but turns out not really funny at all. Super annoyed myself with this idea right now actually.

Now that I’m “a blogger”, I can’t help but look at other blogs and I’m finding out most blogs are about how to make a blog.

The truth is “how to” is the number one most searched thing on the internet. No surprise there as the education we grew up with failed us. The world is ever changing and we need the concepts, the skills, and the technique to keep up. Anything we need to learn about is right here on our phone. It’s great.

So now you want to participate. You create a website. The basic idea is to find your niche and hammer on it. Loudly.

The problem is creating “how to” content because that is the way to get views. And the views will lead to sales. This is true and definitely go after your money. We need to make a living. But if you are “how to-ing” only for views, then you are just adding to the pollution of the internet.

You need to bring value. Your value has to be original. You might say nothing is original anymore but I would argue that no 2 people have an identical life experience. Bring your victories, your defeats, your long and short stories and maybe we can make the internet a better place.

Nov 15 2018

Children of Density

Turns out there are 2 ways of thinking about density. The first way is physically. Water forms a block of ice, then melts to a liquid, then evaporates into a cloud.

The second is consciously. A frog or spider may have likes and dislikes, but do they have an inner awareness of right or wrong? What about a plant? What about an Earth human?

So we add up these 2 ways of “being” and we have these levels of density. Some say there are 8 levels. We started out as a particle of light and billions of years later here we are in the 3rd density. What will the 4th density look like?

There is a lot of talk on the internet of humans evolving and making the jump to the 4th density. The “ascension”, the “awakening”, “dna activation” are some of the terms being used.

It is of particular interest because some people believe that time is now. Telepathy and other psychic abilities, access to the 5th dimension, and etheric properties in our actual physical bodies are some of the features people are mentioning available to us as a 4th density being.

Since I started meditating about a year or so ago, I for sure have noticed a new access to something indescribable which is why I have been seeking so much info about these subjects. Are any of you experiencing any upgrades?

Nov 10 2018

FORTIES

My friend Una turned 40. Generations before us consider 40 “over the hill”, meaning that it marks the beginning of the 2nd half of our life span. But I think with today’s technology and a better understanding of proper health, it wouldn’t surprise me if we lived to 200 years old.

Nov 05 2018

The Matrix of Self Mastery

Ok my friend Mike asked me, “Is it working?” and I had to think about it before I could answer. He knows I have been reading books in the entrepreneurship category which turns out to be a disguise for the self improvement category. It has been a few years since I started reading these books and I always recommend him the good ones. He knows I started a Youtube channel to share some of the info. He knows I don’t go to the gym everyday and am still struggling with diet. I like fresh baked cookies.

“It is working,” I said. “I have a girlfriend. I have my name on a lease. I paid my taxes. I have a car with registration and insurance. And pretty soon I will have zero debt.” We both had to take a long pause. He knows I haven’t had most of these things in years. I saw it in his face. He realized that while it is a slow game, it is a productive one. I haven’t taken inventory in a while so I finally felt progression. But we both know I still have a lots more work to do.

It doesn’t feel like work actually. It feels like getting a haircut or putting up a new shelf. You are just making little improvements in different categories that some how add up later. These categories are ingredients to make a pie called Happiness. This is what I have gathered and attempting to improve on daily.

1. Health
2. Wealth
3. Love and Relationships
4. Purpose and fulfillment

You could stop there and have a ton to think about. But I think we have to consider our 4 bodies. Each of these bodies need each of these categories and vice versa. I know its confusing.

1. Physical
2. Mental
3. Emotional
4. Spiritual

I am calling it “The Matrix of Self Mastery”. I don’t like the term “Self Help”, it sounds like a person is helpless and no one likes to feel that way. It is probably why that term gets shit on a lot. “Self Mastery” sounds next level. And where else do we really want to be?

So while there were, are, and will be many more starts and stops, this matrix is good food for me. It is about self awareness and this makes whatever the next level is less overwhelming.

I don’t know if magic beans exist, but now that this blog is coming together I will share what comes along.

Oct 31 2018

No Sand

My Dad grew up in Hawaii. He met my Mom and had 3 kids with her in California and once a year or so we would go visit his family in Hawaii. Either for a summer or for a winter. My Hawaiian cousins were beach kids as were all people of the islands. And while we did go to the beach a lot in San Diego, I was a skater.

There were lots of similarities and only a few differences, but today I had a flashback of their sand management. I remember tripping out leaving the beach and they would be dry already with no sand on them. I would have to spend a bit of time showering off myself, boards, and younger siblings. The cousins would be chilling in the car seemingly have skipped a bunch of steps, in fact I can’t remember them having towels or anything extra. And they never had to worry about sand.

This would be a reoccurring observation throughout my whole life. I made surfer friends in highschool and it was the same. While some would battle with wetsuits and sand everywhere in their cars and house and shoes like me, others had zero sand anywhere ever. How could all of it just fall off their bodies as they are getting to the car or bike or skate? Every last granule?!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind sand at all. Living in LA now I go to the beach at least 3 times a week. I have sand every where, in every bag, in my books, on my desk etc. It doesn’t bother me. In fact I love it because it reminds me that I am living the life I want to live. But so weird how certain people can develop such a command of sand.

Where in my life does this level of grace exist? I would like to say in my photos. I do not struggle with it as some others do. Or in my publishing, but sometimes I do struggle with it especially on the business side of things.

I think the truth is the grass will always be greener on the other side of the fence. Someone will always have more than you or in this case less sand than you. If we can remember why we are at the beach in the first place, then nothing else really matters.

Oct 30 2018

HBD

Tobin had a bday party and I brought the GX85 with me. It performed great. I rode my bike there from my house and had the camera strapped, no bag. Not bothersome at all. Now I just gotta get used to that tiny viewfinder and I will be all good on cameras for a while.

I will say though that my computer is dying a slow death. The screen has no contrast and totally sucks and the ram can hardly handle my edits. I know that my photos can look better than this. I have been using the same computer since 2010, lol. Time for an upgrade.

Oct 30 2018

GX85 UPDATE

I have had the camera for almost a week now. Haven’t really gotten to go out and use it as much as I want, just been busy with work. I ordered a 14mm lens and got it already. Here’s some notes.

1. The camera is super snappy. From off to on to snapping a photo it may be the snappiest digital camera I have ever used. The mechanics, size, and weight are seemingly perfect.

2. The high ISO is “atrocious”. I knew it would be bad since I have been shooting full frame sensor, didn’t know it would be this bad. But…

3. The image stabilization is VERY REAL. I can shoot at 1/10th of a second and it is perfectly fine. This sort of makes up for the high ISO situation.

4. The popup flash works awesome. I always liked the shadows from off camera flash and this has a little of that.

5. To get the camera how I like it, it was maybe 3 days of playing with settings. But that is a good thing.

6. Both the kit lens and the 14mm are as sharp as anything I have ever used. Maybe I haven’t used that much nice stuff, but these lenses are sharrrrrp.

7. Silent mode it too silent! When I am in it, not sure even if I took a photo or not. It’s awesome.

This guy came to tune Chelsea’s piano. It was dark and I didn’t want to flash him. He was moving around a bunch so it wasn’t proper to go super slow shutter speed. Noisy but I have since figured out better settings and technique.