Jan 03 2019

Bloggins

This is Luis. A lot of people I meet through friends. I met Luis at goth nights in SF. Whenever there was a fight, he was in the mix. It turns out he ran a black and white darkroom rental facility at the same time as I did and we have a ton of mutual friends too.

I saw him at a bar called Zebulon the other day. I had assumed some lame djs were gonna be playing so it felt like I was in for a treat when I saw a band setting up with sitars and bongos. But then they started and it was super mellow. I was hoping it would get more jammy and psychedelic but it didn’t.

I said I was going to try and write every day. I don’t think it is impossible, but I have other sites and responsibilities I have to maintain. I guess here is me trying to get out of it already on the first post of the new year.

I’ll make a deal with you, not that you care or that any one is even reading this. How about I will post everyday. Either photos or writings or podcast. That’s not really a deal, that’s a proclamation. An editing of a proclamation I already made. Or really just a personal mission because I wanna see if I could do it.

Ok, more tomorrow.

Dec 28 2018

Blinds

I was thinking about how we have tendencies to shut out certain things in life that we don’t want to deal with specifically at this point in time. Like just not going to look at these bills right now.

But how can I edit this? There exists a timeline where all my bills are paid easily and on time. Can I bring that timeline into this one?

When you are writing something, you are writing it as yourself and you can consider the piece of writing as a timeline. When you are reading it back, especially if you are writing for public consumption, you are reading it as yourself but also as the intended reader. Which could be multiple personalities like your parents, your friends, your clients, etc.

Reading it back as all these different entities is loosely a metaphor for existing in multiple dimensions at once. And what happens next is you starting changing words, deleting sections, and editing with a purpose thus changing the timeline or, merging a future timeline with the present one.

I am overthinking it, I know. To pay bills easily and on time is a simple formula of increasing income and lowering expenses. Also we go into predictive mode all the time with driving directions, invites to kook holiday parties, random food spots, etc. We make educated guesses about if something will be worthwhile or not.

But, if we go into hyperspace mode we can see the habits and lifestyle of our future wealthy self and then try to incorporate those habits and lifestyle choices into this present timeline. Now we are on to something.

My last post was about getting new habits to reach new goals. But I know just coming up with new random habits isn’t the complete answer.

Here’s Albert Einstein saying it.

“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. “

Wishing you a Happy 2019. May all your wildest dreams come true.

Dec 21 2018

Habits

I started writing down goals but it felt off. While I did hit some of my goals for this past year, I knew something had to be different for next year.

I thought about action. Being deliberate and purposeful. For instance, eating better. What if I made a specific grocery list and only got those foods for the entire year? What if I spent 1 day a week to prep lunch for that entire week?

But these aren’t goals. These are habits. The goal would be something like “Get tubed and come out alive”. So the habits to achieve that goal would be surf everyday, eat better, stretch, exercise, etc.

Now I’m writing down new habits. It’s easy to write them, but mind boggling planning to actually implement them.

I’m reading this book about speed reading and it says you have to form the habit of reading. To do that, start with 2 sentences everyday for 90 days. That’s how long it takes to stick. Starting small makes sense when you think about that amount of time.

I guess for me 2019 is about the habit of making new habits and these first 90 days might be the most crucial.

Warning: That includes blogging. One day may my writings enchant you. For now, let’s just try to get in 100 words per day.

Dec 17 2018

Newport Beach

I got to hang out in Newport Beach for a little bit yesterday. It was fun. 

Dec 13 2018

Blimps – Tobin Yelland

Hung out with Tobin Yelland today. We talked about shooting stills on movie sets and other stuff.

Subscribe to my YouTube channel, turns out I need 100 subscribers to have my own URL. 

** PODCAST REBOOTED. Exported the audio versions of the conversations to be a podcast. Listen, download. subscribe here. **

Dec 09 2018

Apple Pie

“If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.” – Carl Sagan

I love this quote. I had it on the first page in the first draft of my book. I decided for less text so it got denied.

I love it because I understand the idea of starting something very small and then growing it and growing it. Turning nothing into something. This is how Hamburger Eyes began and it is how everything I do begins. 

I interpreted this quote as a belief that there is a natural staircase of steps to achieve something. This long and winding staircase assumes a large chunk of time will be needed. And I operated with this always in mind. I think I have extreme patience when it comes to creative endeavors. I think I have extreme optimism too, which sometimes works against me. 

But now I’m thinking I was wrong. Depending on what you believe, the universe was created in an instant big bang or by God in 7 days. Either way, it didn’t take that long. 

The idea that you have to spend a long time on something for it to work is a limiting belief is what I am trying to say. You can have success in an instant. You can have a delicious apple pie within 7 days. Recipes already exist, tweak them to your liking. No need to hurry, but no need to wait either. 

Dec 05 2018

Non-Resistance

When we think about resistance, well me anyways, I think about “The Resistance” like all the rebel forces in the sci-fi movies. In fact I have stolen this line from Terminator 4, “If you are hearing this message, you are The Resistance.” I used it multiple times in product descriptions and email newsletters for Hamburger Eyes.

But when it comes to matters of the self, particularly creativity, resistance is the opposite of flow. I find myself battling upstream sometimes, getting tossed, struggling. I plan a certain project out all perfect, yet before I know it chaos occurs.

“What we resist, persists.” That’s a quote I heard recently. I think it means if I resist “problems” then I give those problems more power. I think maybe we have to incorporate the problems and go with the natural flow that will hopefully navigate us to somewhere proper.

Our GPS in this river then must be experience. So from there we could say the sooner we experience more things, the sooner we could navigate a little better. “But I don’t wanna die,” you might say.

Here’s a quote from Charles Barkley, “Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.” He commentates on NBA Basketball. He says this line a lot. He is talking about how everyone wants to win the championship, but no one wants to play defense. Somehow I think this applies here.

Dec 03 2018

EDITS

This is Ed Templeton signing copies of his new book at Arcana Books near my place in Culver City. This book store could probably place in the top 10 photo books stores in the world. They have everything. I love going there and browsing books and it’s always a treat when someone I know is doing an event there.

Looking at books it made me think about how different editing for books is versus editing for zines. And how different that is from editing for prints and how different that is from editing for blogs and how different that is from editing for social media. Each seems to have it’s own dialects, boundaries, and obstacles. I have written about this on the Hamburger Eyes site, but I think I will go in on it again.

This is Lee, the owner of Arcana Books. Maybe one day I can interview him and ask what makes a perfect photo book and if or if not that translates to sales.

Dec 02 2018

HARD COPY

This is a photo of Alex. He came over and bought some frames.

I’m on this thing where I think I should just be writing all the time even if it is not at all interesting to anyone. Just a heads up.

On the first of every month I dump everything on my phone into a folder on one of my hard drives. Also all my neg scans and other digital photos from that month go in there too. I have all these folders labeled by month and year.

I had a slight feeling of panic realizing that I don’t have back up for any of these drives. What if everything got deleted? I have already had it happen twice before. I think I need to make prints of everything. Yeah?

Dec 01 2018

Slow Lane

I drive like a Grandma. I think people who have driven with me kind of trip out on it. Here’s why, I have mostly been driving illegally since I started driving. My Dad would send me on errands since I was 14. I got a driving permit when I was 15 and that seemed good enough for everyone involved.

Eventually got my license at age 28 and didn’t always have insurance or registration on the cars I have owned. This is why I keep it so mellow. I use my turn signals and follow all the rules and try to keep a low profile. Now I am all proper with my paperwork, but my driving habits stayed the same.

I can’t say the same for my health. I have been having problems. Time to act like the health cops are ready to pull me over any minute for fucking up. Eating better, sleeping better, and exercising better. We all should. My body is achy like I just got a seatbelt ticket or some dumb shit.

Nov 27 2018

Frames

Thanks to everyone that bought prints! I have 100s of them and plan to update the store regularly so check back from time to time. I’ll remind you. I’m actually going to leave the discount code running for 24 more hours if you are feeling froggy.

Also if you need frames and live in Los Angeles, I got some for you. I have too many and they’re taking up too much space. These are from past exhibitions and are in mostly perfect shape. I have 100s of them in all sizes and shapes. I have started listing them on Craigslist. Let me know if you want some.

Thanks again!

Nov 24 2018

44

Probably the weirdest thing about being 44 is that it feels like it was just last year when I turned 40. Whole years recent years scrambled up what a trip. I am still feeling the shock, actually more like a stun, of turning 40.

Everyone that makes it on the news seems to either be a child or in their 40s. “Man robs bank, approx 5’10”, mid 40s.” Or on the other end, “Doctor discovers a new cure. PHD from Blah Blah Blah University. 2 kids, 44 years old”.

They say your 40s are your glory years. Is it because this is when you are supposed to do something so notable that you end up on the news? Either in maximum desperation or in genius level expression?

My older friends, multiple friends in different circles told me that I will get a “License To Not Give a Fuck” when I turn 40. I’m like uhhhh, I got mine a while ago. I been not giving a fuck.

But now that I’m a few years into it, I can see they were right. It really is like turning pro for not giving a fuck.

It sounds negative, like saying here’s a free pass to be an asshole or something. No, it’s different. It’s more like being certified to be yourself. I have accepted my criminality and I will attempt to rob this bank regardless if I get caught. Or, I have accepted my genius and will attempt to invent some new science regardless of existing data.

I have friends quitting their jobs and other friends getting pregnant, some are creating, some are destroying, some are chill mode deep, some are hyper attack mode. The difference at this age is it is all 100% guilt free. Wild caught free range organic.

I’m not saying free from responsibility, I think that’s impossible. I’m saying free from influence of others like parents, family, friends, society, and culture. Not because of stubbornness but because of certification of self.

Sure you can have these types of realizations at a younger age but I’m feeling lucky in life because some don’t have it ever. I think that’s the glory.

Nov 22 2018

Gratitude

More than once I have seen Gary V. chopping up a hypothetical situation and say something like, “.. And then that’s where I would deploy gratitude.” He is basically talking about weaponizing gratitude and at the precise strategical moment he will not hesitate to drop a gratitude bomb on your head.

I think it is an interesting way to talk about emotions. I mean we have all witnessed and maybe even executed an f-bomb or anger bomb. And then later, sometimes years later, we assess the damage done to ourselves and everyone within that blast zone radius.

It does sound like an over simplification to deploy an emotion at any time we want. There are scenarios where we just can’t control certain feelings. But when it comes to gratitude, I think it is different. I think we can drop a gratitude water balloon, gratitude grenade, or gratitude nuke whenever and wherever we want. Especially if we woke up that day.

Today is my bday. Feeling grateful. Every once in a while it lands right on top of Thanksgiving. This year it did so I’m feeling extra grateful. Thanks for reading this. Thanks for listening and looking and letting me be me. Love you.

Nov 21 2018

Pressure

I just watched Bohemian Rhapsody. It was awesome. I thought there would be a David Bowie character cameo for their song, “Under Pressure”. There wasn’t. In fact they didn’t use that song at all in the movie.

I been feeling the pressure lately. I think it’s always around the holidays. Like a reassessment of the past year. I think since I have been blogging and vlogging about self improvement that maybe I feel it even more. Shouldn’t I be further along at this point?

But I think that’s the point, questioning who what where and how is the point. You could argue down how much you really need to survive. You could argue against comparing today to your troubled past and potential future. These arguments are the boundaries of our minds. These boundaries are the problems we are supposed to solve.

A quote from Albert Einstein, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

With that being said, what we are looking for is expansion. If we are not growing, we are wilting like all things in nature. I think expansion comes from vulnerability. Withstand the elements, then live another season. Stronger. And fluffier.

Maybe we have to put down our weapons any purposely surrender to force an expansion. Like the plot from Deadpool and other X-Men origin stories, extreme pressure will manifest the X gene.

Another quote. This one from unknown author, “If you wanna make a omelet, you have to break a few eggs.”

Nov 19 2018

Donuts

There was a section of Vice Magazine in the early 2000s where the editors would get random photos of random people and randomly label them as a “Do” or a “Don’t”. The image would then be captioned with a super funny paragraph about how this person was awesome or how this person totally sucks.

We went from morals and manners to irony. I think, we have recently evolved into panic. People are stressed and overwhelmed and self medicating on another level. Running around in circles, full speed, and not getting anywhere.

We are in a new era of Do’s and Don’ts. Systems have failed us and we have to start over. What am I supposed to do? What am I not supposed to do?

I think the sooner we experiment with what we “could” be doing, then the sooner we will find out what we “should” be doing. They say to give something 18 months to deliver results. Maybe you don’t have that kind of time, but I say try it anyways.

What would happen if you don’t?