I noticed my last 2 posts were about relating with others/communicating/transmitting and receiving. And now I’m noticing maybe that’s where I got it wrong. That is that I was assuming we are either transmitting OR receiving when in fact we are doing both at the same time all the time.
Instead of a concept or feeling coming out of my mouth via sound and into your ears like a bullet from a gun, maybe its more like a grenade and whatever was intended is felt by whoever was in the blast radius. Including and especially the self. This is why it can hurt to hurt someone or be fun to fun someone.
These are the days of self-awareness.
Last night I spilled some sweet and sour sauce on the floor while having some lumpia. I thought I had cleaned most of it up before I returned to eating, but I had not. I stepped on a biggish dot of it in my sock and stamped it all over my house. I didn’t notice it until the next morning.
I was annoyed and while cleaning up the tracks I wondered if the irritation actually outweighed the level of satisfaction of this particular dinner. It did. “Was the juice worth the squeeze?,” is a question/saying that comes to mind. It was not.
They say that negative feelings are at least 5 times stronger than the positive feelings. Like if you found a $100 dollar bill, you would be psyched for sure but if you lost it later that day, the pain of that loss will be felt 5 more times than when finding it.
This is kind of proof that we are motivated by “avoiding pain” more than “seeking pleasure”.
Could it work in reverse? Do we feel a feeling 5x more after someone disses us versus gives us a compliment? We do.
Does this mean it’s 5x harder to be nice? No, but you could say it takes 5 acts of nice to have the equal impact of 1 act of mean, so yes?
Sometimes foundations doors walls windows gets rocked for whatever reason. Naturally, you then replace or repair. I don’t know if it’s from becoming older or if it’s because of the current state of affairs, but folks these days are extra fortified in their positions. What was once a white picket fence is now a thick concrete wall with armored guards.
I’m not saying to not have beliefs or boundaries or non negotiables, but consider the production costs on some of them. And are those costs making the world bigger or smaller?
I am saying we are participating in the co-creation of reality whether we know it or not. And like everything else in nature, we are either growing or shrinking.
“It’s better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” – Unknown