Nov 24 2018

44

Probably the weirdest thing about being 44 is that it feels like it was just last year when I turned 40. Whole years recent years scrambled up what a trip. I am still feeling the shock, actually more like a stun, of turning 40.

Everyone that makes it on the news seems to either be a child or in their 40s. “Man robs bank, approx 5’10”, mid 40s.” Or on the other end, “Doctor discovers a new cure. PHD from Blah Blah Blah University. 2 kids, 44 years old”.

They say your 40s are your glory years. Is it because this is when you are supposed to do something so notable that you end up on the news? Either in maximum desperation or in genius level expression?

My older friends, multiple friends in different circles told me that I will get a “License To Not Give a Fuck” when I turn 40. I’m like uhhhh, I got mine a while ago. I been not giving a fuck.

But now that I’m a few years into it, I can see they were right. It really is like turning pro for not giving a fuck.

It sounds negative, like saying here’s a free pass to be an asshole or something. No, it’s different. It’s more like being certified to be yourself. I have accepted my criminality and I will attempt to rob this bank regardless if I get caught. Or, I have accepted my genius and will attempt to invent some new science regardless of existing data.

I have friends quitting their jobs and other friends getting pregnant, some are creating, some are destroying, some are chill mode deep, some are hyper attack mode. The difference at this age is it is all 100% guilt free. Wild caught free range organic.

I’m not saying free from responsibility, I think that’s impossible. I’m saying free from influence of others like parents, family, friends, society, and culture. Not because of stubbornness but because of certification of self.

Sure you can have these types of realizations at a younger age but I’m feeling lucky in life because some don’t have it ever. I think that’s the glory.

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