Jul 12 2016

INDEPENDENCE DAY

I forgot I rode my bike to Venice Beach on the 4th. I cruised for about an hour or less, went for a swim, and then went home. Something about that place makes me want to leave right away. I tried. I didn’t stay for the fireworks, didn’t eat, nothing. Here’s a few photos off my phone..

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Jul 09 2016

DUBNATION 

This year’s off season has been one of the craziest ones in a long time. Kd welcome to Dubnation. 

Jul 04 2016

XMEN: SANSAPOCALYPSE

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This movie was ok. First Class was better. But nothing after X-Men 1 has really captured the magic of that first one. We had to wait a while till Sansa got going, but that’s just her wait till I get going vibes like wait 7 seasons HBO vibes. Professor X hair loss origins was cool. Probably the best part of the movie. Beast was chill, he’s always chill. Too much Raven not enough Mystique. They tried to say in the movie that this why mutants need equality or whatever, so she doesn’t have to hide her real self all the time. But it’s obvious they just want more cute J Law and less shape shifting naked blue alien freaking out. Don’t they know by now that this is all the fans really want. In the comics, she is the mother of Nightcrawler so it was lame they totally dismissed that. I give it a C.

Jul 04 2016

SPEED RIPS

We had a day of laying around (see previous post) flipping channels when SPEED came on.

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This movie has everything. Whatever you are doing with your life, apply the principles of this movie. But what are they? I would say 1. Do not slow down, 2. Shoot the hostage, 3. Pop quizzes. I don’t know I am just free styling and breaking down success formulas over here.

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I will be writing on things other than movies too, it’s just what is happening now.

Jul 04 2016

THE LEGEND OF TARZAN TOTALLY SUCKS

Starting a reviews section. When I was in Germany I wanted to stay longer, waaay longer. The only way for me to leave for months at a time and still make money I think is to be a blogger. It seems to be the chillest job. I have this secret future version of myself that is retired and reviews cameras. I think this future self is starting to express itself. Remember how my Instagram account went from “Ray’s Camera” to “Ray’s Electronics” and then finally settled to “Ray’s Reports”. And then this blog started. It is almost not coming from me but from the 80 year old future me like get it going.

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Anyways, Monkey was in town and after a night of partying and a day of sleeping we decided to go see Tarzan. We were both excited about it. The trailer looked action packed and we are huge fans of Greystoke. In fact I paid $95 for a VHS copy of it. Not on purpose did I pay that, I rented it on a friend’s account and didn’t return it. He called me a year later and was like, “Hey man you owe me $95 for losing that tape plus late fees,” “Fuuuuuuck.” I didn’t lose it though. I watched it like 100 times. And I still have it.

This new Tarzan sucks. There that’s it. There was some cool ideas. His hands are all fucked up because he grew up walking and running on all fours. I liked how Jane grew up in the jungle too. But yeah Monkey gave it a D grade. I gave it a C- and I am going to lower it to a D. Tarzan got his ass kicked all over the place. And then when he finally started to kick ass it was too late to convince us. The apes cgi was unoriginal. Also, fuck Samuel L. Jackson. He is done. Why is he not retired. He ruins every movie now. Tarzan and his young jungle crew told him, “If you can’t keep up, you’re dead” and these fools are running flying swinging full speed through miles and miles of jungle and Samuel L. Jackson is on the ground right there in the mix like, “I told yall I could keep up,” WHAT THE FUCK. Ok now I give it an F.

Jul 03 2016

TEA

I found this iced tea and breakfast sandwich spot by my house. It’s less than $5 total, so I started going everyday. It was around the time I first got Snapchat so these daily morning snaps just became a thing. My thing. And then I couldn’t stop. I have hundreds more of these photos and I am still going. I don’t know what’s happening to me.

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**Note : People think that I twist the straws up. I don’t. The waitress hands it to me like this, she be doing the twisting. Which is why the documentation is the thing maybe? I don’t know.